XXX, a.k.a The Bowling Story
by KidKourage
Summary: KidK has returned! Be amazed as your average, everyday trip to the local bowling alley quickly dissolves into a new outlet for rivalry! Features 'Nny, stupid counter slaves, Dairy Queen, disco balls, and a heartwarming anti-smoking lesson!


XXX, a.k.a. The Bowling Story

An Invader Zim Fanfic by KidKourage

_KidK Is Back And Better Than Ever!  Not That That Takes Much!_

          Hey, guys, remember me?  Well, once upon a time KidKourage actually finished all of her work and got a break for once—a month-long break between semesters with absolutely no chance of homework and no threat of a part-time job.  All I can say is…WooHoo!  Anyway, none of the rules have changed.  No one belongs to me except KidK…not Zim or Gir or Dib or Gaz or Johnny or Mike-the-Brother or Mommy or anybody else.  They either belong to Jhonen or are my unfortunate relatives that I mess with.

Wayyyyyy back in September, when I first started writing for Fanfiction.net, I asked my Mommy if she had any ideas for stories.  She said, "Why don't you have them go bowling?"  I agreed that this would make a good story, and promised that I would write it.  As the weeks passed and I continued to write, Mommy would periodically ask me if I "wrote the bowling story yet."  Now, finally, I can say that I have.  Oh, and by the way, 'XXX' means 'Three Strikes'…what were _you_ thinking?!

The scene is the local bowling alley!  Well, I shouldn't say local—it's down the highway a bit from KidK's town.  There _was_ a _real_ local bowling alley, but there were too many drunken midnight brawls there so it got closed down.  This new bowling alley doesn't have drunken midnight brawls…at least none that I've heard of.  In any case, a fun bowling time will be had by all…once the gang can actually get some service.

KidK:  Okay, _what_ do I hafta do to get a lane?

Bowling Slave 1:  Duhhhh, you gotta wait 'til the manager comes.

KidK:  And why is that?  There's two of you back there already!

Bowling Slave 2:  Heh heh, but we don't know how to work the cash register.  (note: based on a true story)

KidK:  Then how can you _work_ here?!

Bowling Slaves:  Heheheheheh…dude…totally…(and other stupid things)

Zim (pushing past KidK):  Listen here you moronic monkey-beasts!  Either you give us a lane right now or you're gonna face some doom at the hands of _Zim_!

Bowling Slave 1:  Derrrr…what?

Zim:  Aargh!  You stupid monsters!  I can't deal with this!

Manager (finally appearing):  What's the problem, man?

Dib:  Oh, geez, don't tell me _he's_ stupid too…

The manager at the local bowling alley is a complete idiot.  And he's mean too.  He always gives people trouble about shoe sizes (cuz he can't read or something), and purposely assigns people to lanes right next to each other so they hafta share a ball ramp _even when the whole place is empty_.  And he smokes, which is just not good.

Manager (eyeing KidK nastily):  What do _you_ want?

KidK (incredulous):  We want to bowl!  It's a bowling alley for godssake!  And we've been waiting here like fifteen minutes just for you to come out from your little staff room!

Manager:  I'm on _break_.  Well, I'm _supposed_ to be.  Now, how many are in your party…(very derogatory) _miss_?

Gaz (taking over):  There's six of us.  Can't you count?  And we want the bowl-all-you-want-for-two-hours package.  

Mike-the-Brother (looming over the counter):  You got a _problem_ with that?

Manager (scared, and rightfully so):  Uh…no, sir, of course not…what shoe sizes do you need?

Gir:  They give us free shoes?!  Wowwwwww!  I want green ones with sparkles and red laces and…

Dib:  No, Gir, you just get what the man gives you.  And believe me, bowling shoes are nothing to be happy about.

KidK:  Not by a long shot.

The Manager guy gets the shoe order right for what is perhaps the first time in his life.  Fear of being assaulted by Gaz and Mike-the-Brother probably motivated him quite a bit.  Do you all know how horrible bowling shoes are?  They're always some hideous combination of gray and maroon at this particular establishment, and there's no hope whatsoever of having unbroken laces.  Each pair of shoes has probably been worn by in excess of a hundred thousand people…well, not really, but you get the point.  Then the crew goes over to find their lane.  At this bowling alley, each lane gets its own computer, table, and set of chairs.

Zim (holding the shoes at arm's length):  I know exactly what my final report to my Tallest on your planet is going to be:  everything is used, dirty, stinky, and yet expensive!

Gaz:  Heh heh, good call.

Gir:  I like the shoes!  (he swings them by the laces)  Whee!  Whee!  Lookit 'em spin!  (one of the laces breaks and a shoe goes flying)  Hey!

Mike-the-Brother:  Why does Gir need shoes anyway?  It's not like he has actual feet!

KidK:  I figure they'll keep him busy between frames.

Gir (skipping to retrieve the fugitive shoe):  Whoopie!  Silly slippery shoes!

Mike-the-Brother:  Yes.  You're absolutely right.

Dib:  Well, this is it—Lane 6.

KidK:  Ooooo, that's a lucky number cuz there's six of us!  Now we'll all bowl good for sure!

Zim:  Now, explain it to me again—what is this bowling?

Dib:  You're only giving me more proof that you're an alien, _Zim_.  What _human_ doesn't know about _bowling_?

Mike-the-Brother:  No duh he's an alien, Dib.  We all _know_ that.

KidK:  Er, yeah, didn't _you_?

Dib (smacking his head in frustration):  _I_ was the one who told _you_!

Gaz:  Yeah, you told us alright…again and again and again…geez you bug me!

Zim:  Um, I asked a question.  Are you gonna answer or am I gonna _destroy_ the lot of you?

KidK:  Okay, okay.  Gosh, you're in a bad mood today.  Bowling is where you take a heavy ball and roll it down one of these lanes and try to hit the pins.  The computer here tallies up how many you knock over.  Don't worry, you can go after me, so you can see me do it before you have to.

Mike-the-Brother (sarcastically):  Oh, that'll _really_ help him…to see two _gutterballs_…

KidK:  Mike, I think that I'm choosing to ignore your nastiness today.  Just consider yourself lucky.  Now, everybody go pick a ball and I'll set up the computer.

Gir (pointing at a brightly colored ball):  I want the bluuuuuuue one!

Dib:  Gir, that thing weighs fourteen pounds.  There's no way you could pick it up, much less roll it.

Gaz (further down the rack):  Ugh, don't tell me _all_ the eight pound balls are _pink_!

Gir (rushing to her side):  Yeahhhhh!  Pink is gooooood!

Gir grabs a pink eight pound ball, and Gaz miraculously finds one in purple.  Meanwhile, Dib and Zim pick up orange and green ten-pounders, respectively, and Mike-the-Brother, gloating the whole time, hefts an aquamarine twelve pound ball.

Mike-the-Brother (slamming the ball into the lane's ramp-thingy):  Check _this_ out!

Dib:  Are we supposed to be impressed?  That's only two pounds more than mine, and I'm like half your weight!

Gaz:  Dib, do you hafta turn _everything_ into an argument?  Anyway, what size do you want, KidK?

KidK (looking up from the complicated computer):  You'd better get me an eight too.  There should be a yellow one around here somewhere…(she sees the ball in the distance and points)  Oh, yeah, there it is…my lucky ball!

Mike-the-Brother:  KidK, for you to have luck would be for you to actually hit a single pin!

KidK (hands over her ears):  Doodoodooooo, I'm ignoring you!  Lalalaaaa, I can't heeeear you!  (to the others)  So, what names do you guys want to have?

Zim:  Names?  KidK, you _know_ our names!  Does this place make people stupid?

KidK:  No, silly, I mean your _bowling_ names…usually people come up with goofy pseudonyms to put on the computer screen.  It's fun!  Now who's going first?

Mike-the-Brother:  Me!  Put me down as…um…'Ray Zarumpas!'  Hahahahahaaaa!  I love pun names!

Everyone stares at Mike-the-Brother while KidK types his ridiculous nickname into the computer.  Then, suddenly…

Gir:  Oh _I_ get it!  Heehee!  'Ray Zarumpas!'  Raise a rumpus!  Heeheeheeheeeee!  _Rumpus_!

KidK:  Well, Mike, you've succeeded in amusing _someone_, at least.  Who's next?

Dib:  I'll go.  I think I'll be 'Alien Hunter' today.  Pretty much sums it up, don't you think?

Zim:  Feh.  

KidK:  Okie-dokie, next volunteer.

Gir:  I wanna bowl!  Meeeeee!

KidK:  So what should we call you?  ^_^

Gir:  Ummmmmm…how 'bout…'Taco Piggie!'  Cuz I luv tacos and I _luuuuuv_ Piggie!

Gaz:  Huh.  This is like revenge-of-the-stupid-names…

Dib:  So what are _you_ gonna call yourself then, sis?  (sarcastically) Something _really_ _cool_ I'll bet.

Gaz:  Actually, I'm going with 'Gamer Girl.'

KidK:  Good one!  Just lemme put it…there!  And I'll be next…'Ms. Anime' returns!  Now that just leaves you, Zim.

Zim:  Why should I call myself other than what I am?

KidK:  So you just want 'Zim?'

Mike-the-Brother:  _Bo_-ring…

Zim:  No, of course not.  KidK, won't you please list me as (dramatically) '_Supreme Ruler of the Universe the Ultimate Invader Zim_!'

KidK:  That's not all gonna fit, Zimmy.

Zim (dejected):  Oh.  Then just the last bit…'Ultimate Invader Zim.'

KidK:  Good!  That's everybody.  Now let's play!  Mike, since you're so smug, let's see you back up your taunting!

Mike-the-Brother steps up to the ball ramp and picks up his heavy ball (oh, come on, it's heavy to me!).  Then he carefully walks up to the lane, stops, lines everything up, and…

KidK:  Go Ray!  

Mike-the-Brother (startled):  Ack!

He throws the ball completely off the mark, and it ends up in the gutter.

KidK (sticking out her tongue):  That's what you get for making fun of me!

Mike-the-Brother:  Ha!  A minor inconvenience!  Now watch the master at work!

This time he hurls the ball with surprising skill and knocks every pin down but one.

Mike-the-Brother:  That makes nine for me.  Your little trick didn't hurt me in the least.  Now let's see what Dib can do.

Dib:  Oh, well, I haven't been bowling much, so I doubt I'll do so hot…

He goes up and gets a strike.  Did you read that right?  I said a _strike_.  As in the best you can get.  Needless to say, everyone is shocked.

Mike-the-Brother:  Whaaaaaat?!

KidK:  Hey, I didn't know you could bowl, Dib!

Dib:  I…didn't _think_ I could…but it just seems simple, you know?  Like trajectory and angles…and stuff.

Gaz:  Oh, spare me.  _Math_ wins bowling?  God, Dib, can you _get_ any more annoying?

Gir:  Yay, Dibby! (he jumps on Dib's head to congratulate him)  Now it's my turn!

Gir gleefully picks up his ball and flings it to the ground.  It doesn't roll at all, but Gir still looks excited.

Gir:  Go ball!  You can do it!

KidK:  Ummmm, Gir?  You have to roll the ball.  It doesn't go by itself.

Gir (tearfully):  Awwwww!  I thought it was _magic_!  The leprechaun at the ball rack _told_ me!

KidK:  But, you know, it's a lot more fun to roll it!  Just give it a try.

Gir:  *sniff*  Okay.

He picks up the ball again and gently throws it down the lane.  It goes really slow, but eventually hits some pins, which seem to fall in slow-motion.  Then he does the same thing again.

Mike-the-Brother:  This is like all those times when we've had little kids at the lane next to us and Mom wouldn't let us throw our balls until theirs had hit!  It's just sad!

Gir:  Wheee!  I got five!  I got _five_!

KidK:  Very good, Gir!  Gaz, you're up.

Gaz:  Just as I was getting to the good part.

It would appear that Gaz, bored during Gir's snail-bowl, has started a new game.  But she puts it down, picks up her ball, and quickly rolls it, in a hurry to get back to what's _really_ important.  In total, she gets eight pins.

Mike-the-Brother:  Cool, Gaz!  You got almost as much as me!

Gaz (zombie-like):  Can't talk now.  Must beat first boss…

Mike-the-Brother:  And now we get to see the amazing loser, KidK, do her losing thang!

Zim:  Are you really that _bad_, KidK?

Dib:  Yeah, Mike sounds like he knows what he's talking about…unlike usual.

KidK (angrily):  I'll show you!  I'll show you _all_!

She grabs her 'lucky ball' and makes her way to the lane.  Without planning anything or lining anything up (not her style), she rolls the yellow orb.  It hits seven pins, all on the right side.

Mike-the-Brother:  Seven.  Huh, more than I expected.  But you'll never hit the other three with _that_ curve!

KidK (sadly):  No, you're right.  I probably won't.  I can't make the ball go that way…

Dib:  KidK, let me help you.  Now, you seem to have a throw that goes to the right but then curves back left at the last second so you hit the middle-right area.  So…(he thinks a second) all you need to do is move to the left by…let's say three foot-widths and you'll hit the left-side pins.

KidK (moving left):  Like this?  

She performs her second throw, and all three of the remaining pins go down.  Everyone gawks in awe, first at KidK, and then at Dib.

KidK:  O_o………Wow.  Thanks, Dibby!  (she runs over and hugs him)

Dib (blushing):  Aw, it's nothing…

Mike-the-Brother:  No fair!  Now she's _beating_ me!

Zim:  Dib-monkey, your stupid tricks of (air quotes) 'math' are no match for _my_ superior bowling skills!  Now watch as I shame you all!

Guess what!  Zim gets a strike too.  Wow.  Something _else_ for these two to have a rivalry over.

Zim:  Ha!  I have conquered the bowling alley as I will one day conquer this pathetic dirt-rock you call home!

KidK:  Geez, I had no idea you guys were so good at this!  Zimmy, you rock!  (now Zim gets a hug)

Dib (muttering angrily):  Huh.  Not even as if he _helped_ her…

The game progresses, and everyone does well.  Everyone, that is, except Gir, who is still having too much fun rolling the ball slowly and then cheering it on.  Zim and Dib have perfect games going, with Mike-the-Brother right behind.  KidK and Gaz are practically in a dead heat (though Gaz would probably do better if she wasn't distracted…KidK's really not that good a bowler).  Then, in the seventh frame…

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey!  Weren't we supposed to get a free pitcher of soda with our package?

KidK:  Yeah, but I guess we forgot to ask for it.  Now somebody hasta go ask the Manager guy at the counter…

Dib and Zim:  I'll get it!  (they turn to each other angrily)  No you won't!  _I_ will!  Shut up!

Gaz (frustrated):  Why don't you _both_ get it…and get away from _me_!  You're making me _lose_!

KidK:  Yeah, good idea.  It's Gir's turn anyway, so it's not like it'll get to you guys' turns any time soon.

Gir:  Gooooo, baaaaaall!  Get those nasty pins!

And so Dib and Zim make their way up to the counter, where the Manager is sitting and having a nice smoke.  He's staring off into the distance with a glassy look in his eyes.

Dib:  Um, excuse me?  Manager guy?

Manager (annoyed that his smoke has been interrupted):  Whaddaya want now?

Zim:  Pitiful stink beast!  Give us our deserved beverages!

Manager:  Beverages?  

Dib (rolling his eyes):  He means soda.  It comes with our bowling package.

Manager (getting up slowly):  Man…now I gotta work again…what kind do ya want?

Zim:  I don't even _drink_ that bubbly foam-liquid, so you may choose, Dib-monkey.

Dib (ignoring Zim):  Just Coke.  Think you can manage that?

Manager:  No…all we got is Pepsi.

Dib:  Pepsi?  _Pepsi_?!  What kind of establishment _is_ this?  Oh, fine, just fill it up.  And give us six cups.

The Manager walks over to the soda tap-thingy and fills up the pitcher with Pepsi, the drink of Britney Spears…the drink of evil (KidK no likee Pepsi.  If you do, then disregard this).  Then he shoves it over the counter at the rival duo.

Manager:  There ya go.  Now I'm goin' on break.

Dib:  You just _had_ a break an hour ago.

Manager:  An hour?!  It's been _that long_?!  (he dives through the door to the staff room)

Now that the Manager's gone, Zim and Dib eye the pitcher of soda on the counter.  After a few hesitant false starts, they both lunge for it.

Zim and Dib:  _I'm_ gonna take it to KidK!  No, _me_!  _No_, **_me_**!

They pull the pitcher back and forth between them in a tug-of-war.  They aren't paying attention to anything else, just the pitcher of soda and the need to pull harder.  Then Dib decides to be just a bit evil and lets go.  Zim falls backward, spilling the Pepsi all over the floor.  This is bad enough, but in falling over Zim has also collided with another bowling customer in need of service.  The soda splashes on him, too.  Bet you can't guess who it is…

'Nny (on the floor):  God!  And how long have I _been_ here?  Thirty seconds?  Even _that_ long?!  And _already_ I'm being surrounded by _morons_!  (he glares up at Zim)  This was my favorite shirt…

KidK (running up):  What happened, you guys?  Why's the soda on the floor?

'Nny:  Missy?

KidK:  'Nny?

'Nny (forgetting his anger):  Hey!  What's up?

KidK:  Er, nothing.  How did this happen?

Dib and Zim:  He started it!

KidK:  Okay, that should pretty much sum it up, I suppose.  'Nny, I'm so sorry these two knocked you over.  Geez, I'm bad luck for you!  Seems like every time we meet you end up on the ground…

'Nny:  No, how could it be bad luck for me to come into the bowling alley, a place that was _made_ to be full of ignorant jerks, and to run into _you_?

KidK:  So you're not mad?

'Nny:  No!  Hey, now I can bowl with you!  (scary grin)  Won't that be _fun_?

KidK (just a little _too_ happily—she's nervous):  Of course!

Dib:  Um, KidK?  Who _is_ this guy?

KidK:  This is Johnny, the guy I met at the 7-11 that time.  'Nny, this is Dib and Zim.

'Nny (crazily):  Hi!

Dib:  Er, hey.

Zim:  Pleased to meet y—hey, wait, did you say the guy from the 7-11?

KidK:  Yeah…

Zim:  The guy who kil—(KidK quickly clamps a hand over his mouth)

KidK (hurriedly):  So whaddaya say we get back to the lane, huh?  Gir's _bound_ to be done his turn by now…ahahaha…so, 'Nny, just get your shoes while we finish our game.

'Nny:  Great.  Now I have to wait for that self-appointed shoe dictator to come out of his smoke-filled hiding place…God I hate this bowling alley…why did I come here, again?  (he snaps out of disgusted rant-mode)  Oh, and put me in the computer as 'Happy Noodle Boy,' okay?

KidK:  Um, sure.

She drags the struggling Zim back over to the lane, followed by Dib, who keeps glancing back at Johnny at the counter.

Dib (to himself):  KidK said that guy looks like _me_?  Huh, no way.

Back at the lane…

Gir:  Yay!  Master's back!  It's your turn!

Zim (scowling at KidK):  And if you _ever_ do that to me again, I will _bite_ you!  See these teeth?  Invaders can chew through _steel_!

Mike-the-Brother:  Yeah, sure, amazing and all that…can you please just throw the ball?

Zim:  Fine.  But consider yourselves warned!

Zim gets another strike.  By now, no one is surprised.  Then Mike-the-Brother gets a spare, Dib earns another X, Gir manages to knock over six pins, Gaz gets nine, KidK gets seven, and Zim gets yet another strike.  Meanwhile, over at the counter…

'Nny:  How long does it take to get service around here?  I want to give them _money_!  You'd think they'd want to _take_ it!

Bowling Slave 1 (finally appearing):  Duh, how can I help you, man?

'Nny:  All I want to do is join that group over there.  (he points)  See them?  So I need shoes.  And, look!  I will exchange _dollars_ for these rotten leather constructions!  Aren't you _lucky_?!

Bowling Slave 1:  Duhhhh, I dunno how to work the cash register.  You hafta wait for the manager…

'Nny (eye twitch):  Now you listen to me, you worthless piece of garbage…your job is to give me shoes.  So do it!  Or else I'll chop you up into little bits while you _watch_, which is something I'm considering doing _anyway_ even if you _do_ give me the shoes because _I can't stand people like you_!

The Bowling Slave, not surprisingly, is frantically pushing the 'Security' button under the counter.  The manager comes out of the back room.

Manager:  What's wrong, Mitch?  What's so important that you had to interrupt my smoke break?

Mitch (hey, now he has a name!):  Er, this guy wants shoes.  Or else he's gonna totally kill us.

'Nny (wow, really furious):  _Kill_?  **_Kill_**?!  How can I kill what isn't alive?  And _you_ two, with your incredible stupidity and arrogance…you don't _deserve_ to share this planet with those who are _truly_ living!

Some burly security guards appear behind Johnny, grab his arms, and drag him toward the exit.

'Nny:  What do you think you're doing?!  Oh, yes, punish me for wanting to be granted my rights as a human being…that's _just_ what this society is like, isn't it?

These security guards don't know what they're in for by laying hands on Johnny.  But I'll bet you do, don't you?  So let's not dwell on the gory details, okay?  Let's just get back to bowling.

KidK (watching as 'Nny is pulled out the door):  Uh ohhhhh…looks like Johnny won't be joining us after all…

Gir:  Oh pooh.  I like the funny boots man!

Dib:  Well, I bet I know what we'll all be seeing on the news tonight—'Psycho in Black Slaughters Two Bowling Alley Security Guards.'

Gaz (sarcastically):  And I'll bet he's an _alien_ too, right Dib?  Let's just bowl!

They do.  Two hours is a lot of bowling.  They get done the first game, with Dib and Zim tied for first place (duh).  Then they start a new game.

Zim:  No more ties!  This time I will vanquish you, Dib-monkey!

Dib:  Let's see you _try_ to break up my perfect record!

KidK:  Now, boys…this isn't a competition…

Dib:  What?  It's a game!  Of _course_ it's a competition!

KidK:  Oh…I guess you're right.  Just don't hurt each other.

When it's Dib's turn to go, the all-out bowling war begins.

Zim (just before Dib throws):  Look!  It's Reese Witherspoon!

Dib:  Huh?  (he gets a gutterball)  Hey, that's not fair!  And how did you know…_Gaz_!

Gaz:  I couldn't resist the chance to ruin your life.

Dib:  You will pay for this, Zim.

Zim:  Oh, I don't think I will, Dib.  I don't think I _will_.

Gir:  My turn!  Let's show 'em, Magic Leprechaun Ball!

Then it's Zim's turn, and Dib exacts his revenge.

Dib (as Zim gets up to bowl):  Hey, Zim, what if your alien _masters_ knew you were _bowling_, huh?  What would they say if you didn't properly _defeat_ us inferior _humans_?

That's all it takes to make Zim nervous.  Now he's concentrating too hard on winning, and as a result is too tense to throw the ball properly.  He only hits seven pins the whole frame.

Zim:  A small setback.  I will beat you yet!

Dib:  Riiiiight.

This game, things are more even since Dib and Zim are messing each other up.  Mike-the-Brother takes advantage of this to pull into the lead, only to find himself the target of the rivals' abuse.

Zim (as Mike bowls):  Hey, Mike!  Did you know Gaz has a _boyfriend_?  

Dib:  Yeah, and it's _Zim_!  (heh, my teensy little zagr ref…)

Mike-the-Brother:  Whaaaaaat?!  

He, unsurprisingly, hits but two pins.  Gaz, however, hits two pinheads.

Gaz:  I'm gonna kill you _both_! (she clonks Dib and Zim over their heads with her Game-Boy)

Zim (recovering first):  And I'm gonna _destroy_ you, Dib!  Why would I be the boyfriend of _any_ human stink-beast, much less your stupid _sister_?

Gaz (holding up the Game-Boy for another strike):  Wanna run that by me again?

Zim:  Er, um, I mean I don't _deserve_ your extremely intelligent, incredibly lovely, and, *gulp*, abnormally _strong_ sister.

Gaz:  Huh.  (she goes back to her game)

KidK:  See what trouble your tricks can cause for you?

Zim (eyeing Gaz warily):  Um, yeah.  Anyway, it will be all the sweeter to defeat Dib using only my amazing talents.

Dib:  As if _that_ would ever happen.

Gir:  Just shut up and bowl, for crying out loud!!!!!

Everyone goes silent at Gir's unexpected outburst.  They stare.

Gir (dancing like a monkey):  Whee!  I'm a happy Taco Piggie!  Missy, do they have jellybeans here?

KidK (snapping out of her shock):  I don't think so…

Things are back to normal, and Dib and Zim resume their strike war.  At around the fifth frame, however, something…interesting…happens.  Gir goes up to bowl, but just before he rolls his pink ball, all the lights in the alley go out.

Dib:  What in the world?

Gaz:  Aargh!  Someone is going to pay _dearly_ for this!  I was _so close_ to the last room!

Suddenly, loud, beat-driven hip-hop music begins to play.  Then, one by one, each of the lanes is lit up by an eerie green glow.  To add to this, two giant disco balls descend from the ceiling and begin to do their thing.

KidK:  Hey, somebody actually paid for 'Cosmic Bowling!'  

Zim:  What does _that_ mean?

KidK (indicating the alley's transformation):  It means this!  If you pay extra, you can bowl in the dark!  So if one group pays up, _everyone_ enjoys the fun!  (note: this is a real phenomenon)

Mike-the-Brother:  Oh, no, last time this happened it totally ruined my game!

Dib:  Yeah, this music is kind of distracting…

Zim:  'Kind of?'  I can't hear myself think!

KidK:  Nawwww!  Music helps us bowl! (note: KidK has actually said this)

Gir:  I like it!  WooHoo, watch me now!  

Gir, moving in time to the music, skips up to the lane and, dancing the whole time, proceeds to hurl the ball at an incredibly fast speed.  He gets a strike.

KidK:  See what I mean?

Gaz, distracted by the music and lights, as well as her urge to beat the final boss, hits six.  Then KidK steps up and, following Gir's strategy, dances her way to a strike too.

Zim:  What _is_ this?!  It's like we're on the Bizarro Planet now or something!  (note:  remember, Zim has been reading KidK's comic books a lot lately)

KidK (taunting her friend):  Derrrrr, yes.  Me am Bizarro KidK.  Me am good bowler…me _crush_ you now!  (she chases Zim around the table)  Why you run?  Me _luv_ you!  You give hug now!  (she catches him and squeezes hard)

Zim:  Ack! 

Dib:  Heh heh, so much for not being the boyfriend of any human stink-beast, _Zim_.

KidK, upon hearing this, immediately releases Zim from her death-grip.

KidK and Zim:  *blush blush*  

Gir and KidK are now the only ones who are bowling any good.  They each get six strikes in a row!  Meanwhile, everyone else's games have suffered, so KidK actually wins the game!  Watch as she takes this in stride and doesn't gloat at all:

KidK:  In your _face_, Mike!  Mister High-and-Mighty-I'm-Such-A-Great-Bowler hasn't won a game, and yet the loserly KidK has triumphed!  _Now_ you must give me the respect I _deserve_!

Mike-the-Brother:  Pffff!  Showoff.  You and your stupid 'Cosmic Bowling.'  It was all luck, I tell you!

Gir:  Yaaaaay, Missy!  Gimme five! (he jumps on the table and dances)

KidK:  Oh yeah!  (she joins him in his little victory dance)

Dib:  Do we _know_ these people?

Gaz:  Let's pretend that we don't.

OK, so the second game is over.  Thing is, there's only fifteen minutes left on the clock…not long enough for another full game, that's for sure.

Zim:  I propose a duel!  You and me, Dib-monkey!  We shall settle our little dispute once and for all!

Dib:  You're on!  No tricks, just pure bowling skills!

KidK:  Okay…just let me take everybody else out.

Gir:  But I wanna bowl more!

Mike-the-Brother:  Gir, play with your shoes.

Gir:  Oh, yeah, shoes!  (he grabs his bowling shoes)  Shoes, meet ball!  Ball, shoes!  Now let's play!  (he heaves the ball up over his head and then plunks it on top of the shoes)  Squishy slippy silly shoes!

Zim and Dib each bowl carefully, lining up every shot to produce strike after strike.  They're both concentrating so hard that they've totally tuned the music out.  Finally, it's down to the tenth frame.

Dib:  The final blow…

Zim:  Yessss…now we shall see who the ultimate victor is!

Dib rolls another strike, much to Zim's annoyance.

Zim:  I will not settle for another tie!  You will be defeated by the Ultimate Invader Zim!

Dib:  Whatever.  

He takes his two extra rolls that you get at the end of a game for a strike in the tenth frame.  This earns him two more strikes.

Dib:  Wahahahahaaa!  Feast your eyes on my final total!  You will see that it is 300!  And in the final frame?  X!  X!  X!  A perfect score!  Beat _that_, alien _scum_!

Zim:  Oh, I will, human filth, I _will_.

Zim steps up to the lane and holds his green ball up, preparing the shot perfectly.  This takes some time, but eventually yields a positive result.

Zim:  A strike!  Just two more to go!

The second strike is equally beautifully planned out.  But for the third roll, Zim's getting a little nervous.  What if he doesn't succeed?  What will everyone think?  Still, he takes his time, lines up the ball, and throws.  The green orb rolls down the aisle…and time seems to stop as it hits…the pin collector thingy, which has descended as a means of indicating that the group's time is up.

Zim:  Nooooooooo!

Dib:  Wahahahahaaaaaaa!  A victory for Dib the Great!

Gaz (any chance to deflate her brother's ego):  No it wasn't.  Who knows?  Zim probably would've gotten another strike too.

Mike-the-Brother:  Well, that was pointless.

KidK:  Awwww, now we gotta go home!

Dib:  We don't have to if we don't want to…hey, who wants ice cream?  I'll buy, to celebrate my stunning victory.

Gir:  Yeah!  Let's go to Dairy Queen an' get Blizzards!  I want Reesie's Peecies!  (spelled pronunciation-wise)

KidK:  Good idea, Dib!  Hey, for once I won't have to fork over any dough!

They all go out to KidK's awesome car and drive over to DQ.  Then they go inside to order.

Ditzy Dairy Girl:  Like, hiiii!  Welcome to DQ!!!!  May I, like, take yer, like, _order_?

Dib:  Okay, everybody, order.  I want Butterfinger.

Gaz:  Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.

Mike-the-Brother:  Make that two.

Gir:  Reecie's Peecies!  Yahoo!

KidK:  Ummmmm…Nestle Crunch.

Zim:  What's a Blizzard?

KidK:  It's where they take stuff and put it in ice-cream and then spin it around really fast so the stuff breaks and mixes with the ice-cream into a frozen treat that everyone loves!  I saw that on a commercial once.  You just pick a flavor from the board.

Zim:  Give me Oreo.

Ditzy Dairy Girl:  Like, _sure_!  And some junk!  I'll be right back with your, like, Blizzards!

She returns with six cups full of ice-cream…and some junk.  The gang grabs six long red spoons and goes over to one of the establishment's two tables (this DQ is small).  After some initial confusion, they all work out whose ice-cream is whose, and begin chowing down.

Gir:  I _luuuuuuuuuv_ Reecie's!  It's peanut-buttery _good_!

Zim:  For a human concoction this isn't so bad.

KidK:  Yeah!  Thanks tons, Dibby!  You da _man_!

Dib:  Well, I figure it's the least I can do since you've been taking us to some really expensive places since spring…

Mike-the-Brother:  If this turns into a 'we-love-KidK' rally, I'm gonna puke!

Gaz:  Then can I have your Blizzard?

Behind them, the shop's bell jingles as someone else comes through the door.  Gir leaps up from the table and points.

Gir:  Look!  It's the silly hair man!

'Nny (surprised):  Gir?  You're _here_, too?  Wow, it _is_ a small world after all.  Hiya, Missy.

KidK:  Hallo again.

Mike-the-Brother:  Who's _that_ dude?  (note: one of my favorite Norm Macdonald quotes, from the movie 'Dirty Work')

'Nny:  Call me ''Nny.'  You _must_ be Missy's brother, cuz you look so much alike…am I right?

Mike-the-Brother (nervous):  Um, yeah…

Zim:  Excuse me, Mister 'Nny, but why do you feel that you can call KidK by her atrocious nickname?

'Nny:  I like it!  It suits her.  You don't mind, do you, Missy?

KidK (not wanting to get on 'Nny's bad side):  No, why would I?

'Nny:  Anyway, I'm just here to grab a snack for the road.  I've got some… _people_ waiting for me in my car and I don't want to keep them tied up for _too_ long, you know what I mean?  (he grins evilly)

KidK:  Er…'tied up'…yeah…I think I _do_ know what you mean…ahahaha…

'Nny orders up a Cherry Swirl Blizzard, pays the Ditzy Dairy Girl (who is just _too_ stupid to cause any trouble for him), and then comes back over to the table to say goodbye.

'Nny:  Well, must be going.  (he grabs KidK's hands)  Missy, it's always a pleasure to be near you.

KidK:  ^_^*  Er…thanks.  You too.

Gir:  Byebye, Mister Shirt!

'Nny:  See ya, Gir.  (he turns to leave, then looks back again)  Oh, and Zim and Dib?  Don't spill soda on me again, ok?

Dib:  Oh, no, sir, we wouldn't _dream_ of it!

Zim:  Yes, yes, just an accident of our idiocy, right?  

'Nny goes out to his junky, beat-up car and zooms away.  Back in the DQ:

Mike-the-Brother:  What was _that_ guy's damage?  Did you see his _hair_?

KidK:  Mike, whatever you do, don't ever say things like that again.

Dib:  Yeah, that guy is dangerous.

Gaz:  He had nice boots, I thought.

Zim (muttering angrily):  Huh.  Thinks he can call KidK 'Missy,' does he?

Gir:  My shoes want to meet my Reecie's!  Wheeeehoo!

It would appear that Gir has committed larceny.  But who cares?  They're just bowling shoes.  Well, now they're bowling shoes full of ice-cream.  The Bowling Slaves won't even notice, right?  Anyway, they're probably too busy now with trying to locate their missing security guards…  

Manager:  I need a smoke break bad!

Mitch:  Duhhhhhh…totally…

_The End!_

_So, Has KidK Still Got It, Or Has KidK Still Got It?_


End file.
